-Seriously...it was sooo packed today! Everyone in that room was pregnant. I had two appointments,and I got in both pretty fast. I got so many dirty looks because I'd get out of one, sit for 10 minutes, and get called into the next. Some people had been waiting over an hour. Hehe
-I went in for a pelvic ultrasound, got that, and SURPRISE a va jay jay ultrasound. Oh my gosh...I feel violated today. The UT was so nice, and I really liked her but I wouldn't pay money to do that job. It was awkward, uncomfortable, and hurt! My ovaries were being shoved around,and things were pressed that shouldn't be! I won't go into anymore details, but it was a very strange/interesting 20 minutes. Lots of pictures taken of my innards
-So for the va jay jay thing they use this interesting looking device...hehe. I wanted to take a pic of it. It looked like a creepy dildo. Yup, I said dildo on my blog!
-I was trying to make conversation, and asked the UT "So what kind of lubricant do ya'll use for these tests?" What the crap??? I'm so retarded. I felt like a stupid dumb weirdo for asking that. They use KY, fyi :)
-My doctor is talking about putting me on some medication, and I said "Clomid?" She was like "YES, how did you know". I replied..."I read blogs, haha"
-I love my doctor! She is the sweetest, cutest lady ever! She's bubbly, and repeated back all the events in the past few months that I've gotten tests and stuff. Thank you Dr. for actually taking the time to read my chart!
-All the ultrasounds showed that everything is ok. I can rule out cysts, PCOS, endometriosis, and anything else. Basically, I'm just not ovulating.
-Because I am not ovulating, and I am trying to get pregnant my doctor wants to put me on Clomid
-Part of me feels like a failure. I should have lost weight, or done something different. Why would I stop ovulating after being off the pills since february? Why stop in July? Why not in the beginning?
-I feel like getting on Clomid means I have infertility issues. I know it's purpose right now is to get my levels back up, but still..google it and it says "used for infertility".
-Clomid means tracking stuff a lot, and really being detailed. I have to be organized, and keep track of things! I have to now worry about taking the clomid on the 5-9th day, have sex on 12-20, and go back to the doctor to check levels on the 2? something day. See I already forgot!
-Maybe this is the reason I've been reading infertility blogs for over a year. I totally know the lingo!
-I'm ok. I have an AMAZING husband who has said EXACTLY the right words today.
-I'm not sad or anything. I'm just kind of like "ok well this is where we are...let's do this!"
God has a perfect plan, I just have to trust Him :)