9 Weeks!

I am getting closer and closer to that "safe zone". My 2nd appointment is in a few weeks/few days! I'm ready to see how much different my baby looks! I'm feeling pretty good. Getting used to being tired all the time. Last night around 9:30pm I felt my body ready to sleep. I stayed up until 11:00pm to see how I felt. I was not a person haha. I was some kind of zombie. The body pillow is helping me sleep, but poor Kyle losing room in the bed now. I giggled today when I drank some water, and immediately had to pee. I experimented with it all day. Water does not like to stay in my body long.

We leave for New Orleans tomorrow morning. Pray for our safety. Being in a car doesn't bother me, but I haven't been in one for hours and hours since I've been pregnant. We are going to the Sugar Bowl..actually the boys are and I'm hanging out with one of the wives. I LOVE cajun food, and I am so excited to try new stuff! I hope my tummy can handle it though. I'll have to take it easy on the spicy stuff which stinks :( We'll have a good time. Neither of us has ever been there before.

Little Gripe Session

I need to gripe for a minute. I've had a week where I was nauseous. Then for a few weeks I had indigestion, and discovered the miracle of Tums. Now I feel exhausted. I could sleep for days. If I take a nap its for 3 hours. I don't feel bad because I take a few Tums a day, and eat small meals throughout the day. I just feel blah and puny. I get hungry sometimes, but feel stuffed and like I'll explode after a few bites. I know it's all normal. I know I don't need to gripe because I have a tiny precious baby trying to grow arms/legs. I'm a terrible patient. I miss energy. This pregnancy is taking forever!!!!!!!!!! In happy news...I found out I get 12 weeks off for maternity, but only get paid for 3 or 4 :( Oh well.

Baby T!

Hello! My name is Baby T!

Can I just say first of all that GOD freakin' rocks! I am so blessed to have this little miracle growing in my dear old uterus! Now onto my story from today. It's random, but that's normal.

I didn't sleep well last night, and I was really nervous. I have peed on over 15 sticks, and I was still not convinced. For some reason I made myself look super cute,and even curled my hair! So we get to the doctors office, and sit there for like 10 minutes. It was 8:10am so it wasn't that busy. I just wanted to get in there, and I kept thinking of how I was going to ask for an ultrasound or something. First we met with the accounts, and let me tell you how thankful I am for the awesome maternity insurance we have. The lady gave me some pregnancy planner which was cool! So..after what felt like an eternity we got called back there. I got weighed, and I am pretty sure I was 8lbs lighter than last time I was there a month ago so yay for that. I had to go pee in a cup. I couldn't find the cups at first then I saw that it was a freakin' paper cup that said "pee speciman" or something like that. I laughed as I peed and missed most of the cup! Oh well, it was enough for that test strip she put in it. The nurse was super nice, and asked me all the basic questions. I giggled to myself when she talked about checking for STD's. She looked at my chart, and was like "wow you were just in here, that worked fast". Heck yes it did! All those blood tests, and meds were worth it! I asked if this appointment was going to be long, and she said no. Well that confused me because I thought it was the longest one. Kyle then asked if we'd get any confirmation today, and she said "Oh yeah we were able to squeeze you in for an ultrasound". I was in shock! I get an ultrasound on the first visit without really asking! I was told I might have to wait until after I see Dr. Rainwater because the lady was booked up. Well the minute she said that she opened the door, and the ultrasound tech was there to say she could get me in right now. Perfect! Everything went so fast. Kyle and I just looked at each other. There I am in the ultrasound room about to drop my pants. I know the routine. Become half nakey, climb on the chair/bed, put your booty in the air. I didn't see the awkward "dildo sword". I wanted Kyle to see if so we could giggle. She comes in, and starts lubing that bad boy up! I guess it was in a drawer or something. I didn't see anything at first, and then she said "Ok the baby is in there". Then she was doing crazy stuff. It looked like watching a movie when the movie camera person was walking and trying to film. I thought I saw my uterus and a little spot in it, but I wasn't sure. She took pics of other things which I assume were my ovaries. Then I saw it. She zoomed in real good. It was my baby. It actually looked like a baby! It had that yolk sac which I thought was another baby at first, but its all good. It just has some weird blob following it around. They said it will go away soon :) I assumed it would just be a round circle. First thing I thought was "Wow, it has a giant head, and no arms!" Then I saw the most beautiful thing ever......that flickering heartbeat. It was beautiful. I was in awe, and just totally overwhelmed. It was beating so fast, and then BAM she cranked up the volume and I heard that awesome heartbeat music! There's a baby in there! It's alive! It's good! It's ours! It wasn't real! Kyle came up to stand behind me, and I should have grabbed his hand but I was just in shock. I didn't cry. I was so happy and RELIEVED! Totally awesome overwhelming experience. She took some pics, and printed some out for us! Kyle got teary eyed, but I think he probably had some streaming tears. I felt bad for not crying. So yeah...lady leaves so I can change and Kyle hugs me. Wow...we just saw AND heard our baby. We then went back into a little room to wait on my doctor. Let me tell you...I LOVE my doctor! She is just low key and sooooo sweet! She immediately started talking about how happy she was and surprised to see me back in here so early. She said "Well I just saw you a month ago, and here you are". I told her I would be a spokesperson for Clomid :) She asked how I was feeling, and then gave me a run down of what meds I can take, and other good info. I set up my next appointment on Jan 17th. That doesn't feel very far away! By then we can check it's growth better, and do a regular non-dildo ultrasound :) My due date wasn't said, but it's still Aug 4thish according to due date calendars. They gave me a big ol' bag of goodies! I got lots of vitamin samples, baby magazines, and other neat little stuff! It was like christmas at the gyno! Best gyno trip ever!

I got everything I wanted and more! It was such an easy appointment! I cannot believe we got to see and hear the baby. I am feeling good. I am not going to worry anymore. God is in control. I'm blessed, and I need to be thankful everyday. I SAW/HEARD our baby today!!! Ahhhh!!!!! I think it's cute :) Looks like an alien. I have also been saying that it's a paraplegic since it doesn't have legs/arms. Yeah I knowthat's horrible, but it cracks me up! It's also a hermaphrodite since it has no definable weewee or uhm vajayjay haha. Ok I'm done.

I decided to start that Pregnancy Highlight thing I see a lot. I didn't look up the medical answers, haha. I just make them up!

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along: 7 Weeks 6 Days

Size of baby: 1/2 in or the size of a kidney bean I think

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Ha! Hard to say since I'm already a chubbo :)

Maternity Clothes: I wear "comfy" pants, and have for years. I bought a few maternity shirts recently for later

Gender: Too early to tell silly

Movement: Too early again silly

Sleep: Not good! It takes me FOREVER to fall asleep even though I am completely exhausted. I swear indigestion starts every morning at 1:30am.

What I miss: Sleep, and Dr. Pepper

Cravings: Pizza (which I normally am not a big fan of)

Symptoms: Mostly tiredness, indigestion, lack of appetite

Best Moment this week: Seeing my precious baby, and seeing AND hearing the heartbeat!

News

15+ pee sticks say PREGNANT or !! (yeah that's two lines)

I found out the day after thanksgiving. More details later.

First Prenatal Appointment is this wednesday at 8:30am. I'm nervous and excited. Pray that everything is good so I can FINALLY make an official announcement!

News for you...but you'll have to wait until next week! hahahaahahahaahahaha!

Quick update

Nurse called and my progesterone blood test showed I did ovulate. No shiz...I already knew that! Stupid test only told me that one thing. Now I wait....to see if dear old evil "lady" shows up. If not, I'll start peeing on sticks like crazy! Good news..clomid works. Good news..if I have to take it again I stay at the same dosage. Not so good news..I don't know if I'm preggo or not :( GARRRRR I should be thankful, but I'm frustrated.

Now to have food therapy...PW pecan pie!!!!

Update: I'm ok now. I had my small moment of frustration. I'm doing great right now! I realized that I could still be preggo, and to just give it some time to "season". OR I have good chances of conceiving in the upcoming months. Gooooo......baby making!!

Total Praise

Tonight..heck today was rough. I thought it'd be smart to pee on a stick so I had an idea what to expect from my blood test this morning. Bad idea again...it was a lovely negative. I wasn't surprised/bummed though. I got to St. Edwards to get my blood test done, and it's just to test my progesterone. The lady in the lab didn't have any answers to my questions so I'll just wait until I get the results via phone tomorrow from the nurse. I researched what progesterone test shows, but still don't get it. I then hurried to work because I had to attend staff development. I loved it. I loved feeling like a teacher. I loved being bored, yet understanding everything they were talking about. I then started to think about how grateful I am for my job. Teaching would be nice someday, but I feel blessed to have my job. I have a great boss, and I love helping kids with drama haha. Then I had some stupid issues come up where I was just plain annoyed with people. I need a break from people/work. I'm starting to become cranky, and annoyed easily. I know today I had a lot on my mind.

I finished my work day, and went to get all my thanksgiving grocery shopping done with my mommy. My mommy is like my best friend sometimes, and I love that. I went home, and looked at my awful horrible nasty house. I need to clean so bad! It's embarrassing. I will get motivated this week, but today I wasn't feeling it. I made PW Pasta w/ Creamy Tomato Sauce, and it was delicious. I then started to watch tv with my man. I was quiet, he noticed. I have been randomly quiet lately. Usually I'm acting retarded and laughing hysterically, and yelling "penis" at random moments. I was sulking. I was sulking because I don't believe I am pregnant. I was sulking because I know trying again will just drag on and on and on until I explode. Kyle is being so optimistic, and I push him away because I want to have a pity party. How selfish is that? Why am I being so awful to him and myself? I'm not trusting God all the time. I only gave up a little of my pain/worries. I knew I needed time to think. I went and took a steamy hot bubble bath. I read more of "Hannah's Hope". Hannah at the time was struggling with infertility,and her husband Elkanah took another wife who bore him lots of children. Hannah was jealous, and went all crazy like how I feel. You know what? Her husband loved her no matter what. Yes, he had another wife, but his heart belonged to Hannah. Beautiful right? A few nights about I told Kyle that I would be 100% happy with just him forever, and I mean it. I really could spend my whole life HAPPY and completely in love, just the two of us. A baby is just an added bonus. We want a little piece of each other, but we would be ok if God did not have that in store of us. I know it's early, and I'm not trying to be a downer. I am just starting to realize how amazing God is. He gave me such a wonderful man. A

Ok back to my story...so after my bath I started to get really emotional and convicted. I was being sooooo stupid and selfish. I needed to be alone, with God. I don't usually do that because I feel guilty for not being the daughter God calls me to be. I let my guard down. I let it all go. I turned on my ipod to a particular song. I cried. Quiet sobs. Crying out to God for the first time that I can remember. He spoke to me. He comforted me. He has a plan for me, and I need to open my ears and heart to it. I then went outside to cry. I listened to the song again, and just started up at the sky. I felt peace. Tears were still streaming down my face. I remembered this verse I've been reading a lot:

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own". Matt 6:34

Powerful right? heck yes it is! I went back inside to crawl into bed. My husband came in to just hold me while I slowly cried. God is good. I am finally under his wings, and not trying to control my life anymore.

Please listen to this song when you get a chance. It's incredible, and I had the most intense moment with God listening to it.

.Here are the lyrics:

Lord, I will lift mine eyes to the hills

Knowing my help is coming from You

Your peace You give me in time of the storm

You are the source of my strength

You are the strength of my life

I lift my hands in total praise to You.

You are the source of my strength

You are the strength of my life

I lift my hands in total praise to You.

Amen, amen

Amen, amen

Amen, amen

Amen, amen